The Talented Mr. Piro

The Talented Mr. Piro 
The curious case of Mr. Christopher J. Piro. By Elias.

“Impaired Depth Perception”




“A true man of honor feels humbled himself when he cannot help humbling others.” -Robert E. Lee

We are the authors of our own lives. Some write wittingly, with curt fortitude, unblemished, others are plagiarists.  Meet Christopher John PIRO, who falls into the latter.

“Beware the teller of tales whose soles have no holes.” All American kid, joins up, takes charge during a humanitarian crisis in Korea, later gets wounded in combat in Afghanistan, saves a bunch of his buds and gains acceptance into an exceptionally elite University. Sounds like the American Dream. Too bad only one part is true, and that elite University expelled him for all the reasons listed, plus forged documents, rife with fraudulent signatures from invisible friends telling nonfactual tales, not to mention the FBI investigation.

PIRO, a momentous vessel of excrescence took his real, very mediocre service as an Air Force Computer guy, and mixed it up with some entertaining stories. He then added some charisma, plus forgery to get out from the gutters all the way up to Johns Hopkins University, where he was summarily expelled from for fraud.

Guardian Of Valor submitted a Freedom Of Information Act request (FOIA) to the Department of the Air Force for PIRO’s military service record. On November 30, 2015 Guardian of Valor received PIRO’s military record however several portions were redacted. It is believed the redacted portions included Social Security Numbers and material details regarding PIRO’s Non Judicial Punishment (NJP).

PIRO began his enlistment within the United States Air Force (USAF) in April of 2008. In April of 2012 PIRO completed his first term of enlistment as an Airman First Class (E3).  In all PIRO served 3 years and 9 months as a 3DO52 Cyber Systems Operations Journeyman.

Per the information received in the official FOIA request, PIRO was awarded the following:
National Defense Service Medal;
Global War on Terrorism Service Medal;
Korean Defense Service Medal;
AF Overseas Ribbon Short;
Small Arms Expert Marksman Ribbon (Rifle);

Additonally, per official FOIA Request, PIRO’s military education is as follows:
(XFN) Airfield management craftsman course, JUL 2010;
(9AA) Air Force Training Course, APR 2007;
(ILC) Airfield Management Apprentice Course, JUN 2008
Basic Military Training, JUN 2008. NTF.

Ultimately the information revealed from the FOIA request revealed that on 24 April 2011, PIRO was charged with violating 117 under the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ), for “wrongfully using a provoking and reproachful word: ‘Douchebag’ or words to that effect to Airman First Class (REDACTED)”.  As a result of this charge, it is believed that PIRO consulted a lawyer and requested an appearance before the Commanding Officer. It is also believed that he requested the hearing not be available to the public. According to the record, PIRO submitted to the non judicial punishment order.  On 23 February 2012, for reasons unknown at this time, it is believed that PIRO received a Command Directed Move into the dormitory by the Commander of the 435th Air Ground Operations Wing (435 AGOW) at Ramstein Air Base, Germany.

Of note was the heavily redacted “Involuntary Administrative Discharge” form and a heavily redacted “Receipt for inmate or detained person.”

Interestingly, PIRO  was quoted talking about how amazing it was getting into John’s Hopkins from places like Afghanistan.   After all it was in his time in the military where he developed his desire to help those wounded in Afghanistan and Iraq.

“I had an interesting story, but I did not know how to develop it…” – Christopher J. Piro

Sloan Kettering was unavailable for comment. Our research team did receive the following statement from the company Ivy Coach that helped PIRO gain admission into John Hopkins University after they were made aware of PIRO’s true background:

“We are deeply saddened to learn of allegations that Chris Piro, a student with whom we worked on a pro bono basis at Ivy Coach, lied about major parts of his military service. When veterans come to us, we ask for a copy of their military ID but ask for no other paperwork to verify their service. We take them at their word. We always have. Our commitment to America’s veterans is grounded in a sense of gratitude for our brave patriots. We were so proud the day Chris earned admission to Johns Hopkins University, his dream school. Chris’ first thought was to his brother, George, a decorated United States Marine who died in service to our nation and who is interred at Arlington. These allegations against Chris trouble us deeply and we hold out hope they are unfounded. Ivy Coach’s commitment to helping America’s veterans earn admission to the colleges of their dreams on a pro bono basis remains steadfast and unwavering.” – Brian T., Ivy Coach

Brian T.
Ivy Coach®

PIRO’s service was nothing to write home about, so it appears he wrote himself a new life. In fact his writing was so convincing, it attracted the attention of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI).


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GySgt George L. Figone Jr. U.S. Marine Corps. 3 GWOT Combat Tours, NCM/V, PHM. Died on December 12, 2011 - Wilmington, N.C. Section 60. Arlington National Cemetery. Luke Sharrett for The New York Times.

GySgt George L. Figone Jr. U.S. Marine Corps. 3 GWOT Combat Tours, NCM/V, PHM. Died on December 12, 2011 – Wilmington, N.C. Section 60. Arlington National Cemetery. Luke Sharrett for The New York Times.


Gunny Figone was PIRO’s older brother. GySgt Figone served with honor, and distinction.  Now while we cannot prove that PIRO stole his brothers story of an Afghanistan deployment and Purple Heart; on paper it sure looks like he used his brother heroic story to convince people of his own lies.  Ironically, PIRO actually wrote about honor, specifically Stolen Valor in 2013:

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Eventually, it all comes out in the wash, castles made of sand… This story may all have started when he convinced the Honorable Senator John Nichols Boozman, (R) Arkansas, to write him an internship recommendation letter to Congressman Bill Flores.  The recommendation letter, posted in it’s full entirety above, identifies PIRO as a 6 – year Air Force Combat Veteran, even denoting that he was awarded the US Air Force Commendation Medal for his steely resolve during the bombardment of Yeonpyeong island on November 23 2010.

Other letters from professors at universities; and a nonexistent Master Sergeant from the Air Force made PIRO out to be a true American hero.  The letters of reference went on to talk about his deployment to Afghanistan and receiving a Bronze Star with Valor device, and even receiving a Purple Heart for injuries sustained in said deployment.


PIRO and Bro’s

According to PIRO’s official military records he did not serve 6 years in the USAF; there were no multiple deployments to Afghanistan. PIRO apparently served in Korea and Germany, however there is no confirmation that he was in a combat zone.  Additionally there were no “selfless heroics”, no documented “Bronze Star with Valor device” and no record of him receiving a Purple Heart; and further there is no evidence that he received the Air Force Commendation Medal.  PIRO forged all of the letters from Senator Boozman (excluding the one marked original; this letter was filled with the same lies…all told to the Senator by PIRO.  The Senator was innocent in all of this and lied to by PIRO), all of the letters from professors, and all of the letters from a nonexistent Master Sergeant.  PIRO even wrote a fictitious letter for a brother in arms to get into college; where PIRO claimed to be the NCOIC of the Special Operations unit.  He even polished his skills in photoshop as he created all of the headers and footers from scratch. All to advance his hopeful career in politics and to further his acceptance into prestigious schools across the nation; most recently  the University of Tennessee.

“Find the cost of freedom
Buried in the ground
Mother Earth will swallow you
Lay your body down” -CSNY.

Here is his official DD214 we received via the FOIA Request; judge for yourself.













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